When Your Life Feels Like a Mess, It’s Time to Go Within

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Have you ever thought to yourself, “My life is an absolute mess … and I have no idea how to fix it”?  my life is a mess right now and I don't know how to fix it

Perhaps you’re encountering a virtual stew of problems, that may include financial struggles, relationship problems, career confusion, health and wellness issues, or a general lack of clarity about the direction and purpose of your life  (and that’s just for starters, right?).  Perhaps you’re reeling from one massive mess-up and you don’t even know where to begin to bounce back from it.

The point is, your life feels way more painful than you can take right now and you’re clueless what to do about it. You need help.  You need relief.  You need hope that you can recover, but you can’t see even a glimmer of hope right now.

That’s not even the worst of it …

You can’t even put your finger on all that seems amiss, yet you know your life is off-track and you feel perpetually haunted by your inability to set things right.  You who are usually good at solving problems have no idea where to begin to untangle this mess.

What your “logical mind” is begging you for right now are solutions … answers … concrete ways to deal with your issues.  And, I get it – the issues can appear to be monsters.  When you’re not feeling financially secure or getting the love you want in your life or finding the meaning and purpose you’re dreaming of, it feels pretty crappy.  When you’re overwhelmed by mistakes you made or by mounting problems that keep coming out of the blue, you just want to know what steps you can take right now to make the pain stop.

It’s funny in a way that we approach solving our biggest challenges in life with the same thinking patterns that we use to complete a crossword puzzle.  No surprise, it doesn’t work!  We “fixers”  (aka control junkies) don’t like that.  We want to control the world around us.  We take pride in our ability to fix things … control things … in fact … control nearly everything. But that’s a heavy load to put on yourself and there are times when it’s simply impossible for your logical mind to give you the peace and assurance you need.

When life feels like a mess, I can’t emphasize this enough …

When we “fixers” can’t fix things, we get worried … scared … and sometimes we even turn on ourselves thinking there’s something wrong with us. Confidence plummets.

What you may need to consider though is that the answers you seek to the seemingly gargantuan web of challenges you face won’t be found in your mind. You need to go deeper … deeper into self-love … deeper into connecting with your intelligent core that resides within you.

So here’s my advice: give yourself a break and breathe. Sit in a quiet place where you feel safe, comfortable and inspired.   This could be a favorite chair in your home… a park bench … or wherever.

Your only task for the moment is to breathe, so just focus on your breath and experience it fully. Don’t confuse “just breathing” with doing nothing … allowing yourself good, quality breathing time can be a life changer.

Answers appear when we’re calm enough to receive them, not when we’re fighting a raging battle in our minds.Click To Tweet

Next, as you calm your mind and listen to your steady breath, begin to allow yourself to bask in the miracle of now and to dwell in gratitude. Let your entire body be transformed by the deep appreciation for your life’s blessings. Allowing yourself to feel extreme gratitude will return you to a state that’s open to receiving new ideas and solutions.

Once you’re “feeling” gratitude throughout your body, here’s the next step: Take in three or four slow deep breaths. When you feel calm, seek the wisdom within your soul by asking:  What are you trying to tell me that I’ve been too busy to hear? What’s the most important thing that I need to know right now?” Then listen patiently and quietly for the answer.

Wired to thrive -- how to transform your life

Am I sounding a little crazy? Maybe but …

Well, I know this could sound crazy, but I am advising this because your head is spinning right now and because of that you can’t hear the wisdom within. Your fear is trying to tell you something, but it’s all coming at you so fast and furiously that you can’t understand what to make of it, which leaves you frustrated and more fearful. It’s a trap and the only way to get out is to get out of your mind so you can hear the Divine wisdom of your soul.  

Getting “untangled” from a life that seems to be a mess seldom happens all at once. You have thinking patterns and behaviors that you’ve practiced a long time … so you must be kind and supportive as you learn to go a new way.  Just remember to love yourself along the way and always create time and space to listen to the wisdom within.

I’ve also found that practicing affirmations frequently does wonders for changing my internal dialogue. My favorite affirmation is one from Louise Hay: “ All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation only good will come. I am safe.” Whenever there are issues in my life that I’m struggling with, I repeat this over and over … sometimes hundreds of times in a day (I have it posted on my fridge and on a mirror in my bedroom and keep a copy in my car and in my office, too!). It’s worked miracles in my life — you might give it a try.

That’s not all…

One last thought: if one of the issues you are struggling with is figuring out your life purpose, take heart.  I think that there are so many gurus out there preaching about purpose that there’s now an epidemic of people obsessed with finding their “one great purpose” … which is leading to stress, frustration, and even depression. I will never claim to have all the answers, but this is what “purpose” looks like to me … and it’s multidimensional:

1) Our purpose in life is to love ourselves and to love others, we all share that purpose.

2) We have each been blessed with certain gifts and talents and those make us unique. When we find a way to use our gifts in service to others, then we are “on purpose” in our lives.

3) Our purpose may or may not have anything to do with what we do to make a living — but as we make a living, we can certainly practice #1 and #2.

4)  Pay attention to the things that make you come alive … those times when hours pass and it seems like only moments.  It’s when you’re in a state of “flow” that you are aligned with your purpose.  Watch for those times in your life and find ways to get into that state more often.

5) I think there are those people who can say “my purpose is to do X,” but if you can’t say that right now, don’t sweat it so much. If you focus on #1 and #2, perhaps in time a more precise definition of your purpose will be revealed to you … but you won’t have to worry about what to call it, because by the time you can describe it you’ll find you’re living it.

Finally, regardless of what you’re going through, or how extreme your pain feels right now, your life is not now nor was it ever a mess … it’s your thinking that makes it feel that way.   You’re on a path and everything you’re going through has purpose — it’s not happening “to” you, it’s happening FOR you.  Pay attention and look for the lessons this time in your life is offering to you.  Take this opportunity to GROW through it, not merely go through it.   And, don’t forget to breathe!

Wishing much peace, love, joy, and abundance on your journey.

J. Marie Novak, Founder, Believe and Create


Additional Suggested Resources for When You Feel Your Life Is a Mess

(these are affiliate links)

The Simple Truth:  Discovering the Pathway from Suffering to Peace, by Eckhart Tolle

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Becoming unstuck

Becoming Unstuck:  Tapping into the Power and Wisdom of Your Subconscious Mind,  with Friedemann Schaub

__________

 

The Forgiveness Challenge with Rabbi Rami Shapiro

 

 

 

62 Replies to “When Your Life Feels Like a Mess, It’s Time to Go Within”

  1. WOW – I found you through facebook on a friends page – I saw your link today for a newsletter so I thought I would check out your website. WOW – I really enjoyed this post today. I really like the way you write. Will follow. Cheers, Wendy

    1. Thanks for visiting the site today Wendy — and for taking the time to leave such an uplifting comment! Wishing you all the best. ~ J. Marie

  2. I follow a link on a post by a friend and amazingly landed myself this wonderful inspiration.I will keep in touch.Blessings J.M

  3. I swear you were having a conversation directly AT me when I read this. Thank so much for writing this. It summarizes exactly how I have been feeling lately! I am often lost in the chaos of it all and OFTEN forget to breathe!!!

    I have been following your wonderful little sayings on FB and I just signed up for your e- letters, look forward to those.

    ~ JR

    1. Glad this spoke to you — and thank you for taking the time to leave a comment here and for following us on Facebook. We appreciate your support very much. Best wishes in finding peace in the midst of chaos! ~ J. Marie

  4. Thank you for such a great page. I feel I needed to read this today. Its how I’ve been feeling for a while. Thank you and god bless.

  5. Thank you for your post. It has come to me exactly when I needed it. I am going through this phase and it gives me so much information. I am in awe of your insightfulness. Thank you so much.

  6. I so very much needed to hear those words of kind and caring wisdom!! I do forget to slow down and breathe and believe things are going to get better. I have many many tattoos but one that i hole very close to me is one i wrote down myself and then had tattood on my inner forearm so i couldnt possibly ever miss it and could use daily or try and.remind myself daily at least. It takes ip the entire inner forearm and says in my own handwriting. Just Breathe and Believe… ‘Pura Vida’ ( meaning beautiful life

  7. I’d like to thank the writer of this blog whoever you are, because I guess I’ve forgotten to just embrace myself and give myself time to breathe and now that i exactly what I am going to do. Hopefully, as always my head and heart will collaborate to find inner peace.

  8. Hello,

    funny experience… I’m french and was looking for the exact translation for “go within” and “arrived” on your site, and read this page….
    Great and amazing experience. Really needed to hear all this (even if I knew, in a way, but didn’t realize..)
    Thank you! God bless you.
    Haydee

    1. You just never know what you’ll find when you Google … glad you found us. Thanks for taking the time to leave this fun note! Blessings and peace to you, too! – J. Marie

  9. Wow! I must say you are a true blessing and an inspiration.. I wake up depressed today and needed something to uplift my spirit. This really brought my senses back. Thank you for such inspiring message. May God bless you.. It makes a very big difference in our lives.

    1. Nomsa — thank you for taking the time to write such a lovely message of support. I’m happy the article lifted your spirit — we all need others to help us do that from time to time. Wishing you peace and many blessings! – J. Marie

  10. I am really grateful for these words. I felt so depressed at my life right now and prayed this evening and begged god and even was angry and questioned where he was in my time of distress. I believe he showed me through you. Thank you for this message. I think this is just what i need and i am really grateful to have found your website I feel and believe that it will change my life positively. Regards

  11. From the bottom of my heart THANK YOU… my life’s a complete mess right now, or at least it feels like it, and I’ve been struggling with it for a long time feeling exhausted both physically and emotionally. For a, b or c reason I found this, I guess I was supposed to, and you have no idea how much peace and comfort you have brought to my mind and soul… You don’t know me and I don’t know you but your words made more impact on me than everything I’ve tried so far; it’s been a long time since I’ve felt this calm… This too shall past, right? Again THANK YOU SO MUCH! God bless you!

  12. Sound advice. The voice of the heart is too easily drowned out by the noise of our all-too-logical-mind when we are making decisions about love. And of course, life almost never hands us the ‘optimal’ time table for harsh personal events. Thank You for this bit of common sense that I desperately needed to hear.

    -Leif

    1. Leif — thanks for taking the time to leave a note. Wishing peace, love and joy and many blessings as you move forward. – J. Marie

  13. I found your post really inspiring. My “perfect” life turns into a completely hell now, yeah thats what i think. I am feeling so sad, so frustated, and really really depressed. Im super tired of being like this, I hv been through this for a year and more. I hv been looking for aboundant books to solve this condition, but not really found it. You really understand our problem. I just wanna say thank you very much, your post gave me power to be strong to be brave. Thank you 🙂

  14. Thank you very much, my life is or my thoughts are mess right now. But just by reading this I am feeling so light. Those tangled thoughts are definitely slacked now. I will practice your solution, and I am sure it will work. Thanks again… And this is my first ever comment on any blog or site.. Already feeling happy.. This is working.

    1. Arti — so glad you found the post useful. Praying that peace and blessings continue to enter into you life. ~ J. Marie

  15. Wow. I thought i was the only one feeling like this… Im so lost and dont know where to go.. I sit back and think how the hell did i get here.. i use to have everything under control… Im 30, just got my car repo, Im sick and no job. Ive finally hit rock bottom.. I just moved to a new city and im so scared… Im so far away from my family. I feel so much better after reading this.

    1. Bee — your post reminds me of a famous quote from J.K. Rowling (billionaire Harry Potter author), “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

      Remember to take it one day at a time. Yes, it’s a trite thought, but it’s really all any of us can do. Sometimes you need to take it moment by moment, and that’s okay, too. One day you’ll look back on this chapter in your life and you’ll understand why you went through it … believe it or not, something good can sprout from even the most barren places of our lives.

      Glad the article helped. I’m sending prayers of peace, love, healing, and blessings for you. ~ J. Marie

  16. Thank you very much may god bless you , your words are positive they are like a treasure and a strength of profound this has been a life changing curve for me I’m strong because
    Your words they set me free and for that I thank you.

  17. WOW! This was such a blessing to me. Out of desperation I literally googled “my life is a mess” and this is the first thing that came up. I needed this! THANK YOU

  18. At times like today i feel stuck,stuck in deep waters where i can hardly swim.I feel myself trying to step on hard ground but there is nothing below.I have been trying to swim through for awhile.I have really motivated myself,i have even faked hope to help me thru and not quit.But today i feel like i shud stop,just stay and drown.

    I know there are three answers to a prayer(yes,wait and no).I pray and most of my prayers are answered with a yes.My wuestion is;how do i if my job request is a wait or a no?I have waited too long,i have bills to foot n a stomach to fill.Y shoud i live an ordinarly life and not thrive.Y is it that no matter how much i climb i stil come to this position.I feel so stuck.I do not have a godfather or bribe to help me get a job in this country Kenya.I’ve sought ur(God) grace and favour.And now that it aint yielding,do i just wait and continued drowning til i get to poverty or death.Im let with no options.Despite my desires,dreams and aspirations,im still.

    I so needed ur words….

    1. Oh Mandy, my heart goes out to you. I’ve been there — some times it seems hopeless. You put in all your best faith … you try and try and try and pray and pray and pray and yet nothing seems to come of it. You question your thoughts and you question your actions and you wonder what else you can do, or whether there’s any point in all of it. In times like these, our thoughts get us into trouble. They tell us we’ve reached the end of the line, yet we haven’t. Who knows why Divine timing doesn’t come in and rescue us when we want or the way we want. Yet, each day you must arise with hope … and do that again and again for as long as it takes. And in the meantime, begin to express gratitude for the good you have in your life as well as the miracles that you have full faith will arrive. I don’t judge you for feeling the way you’re feeling — in fact, I’ve found myself in times of hopelessness more than I can say. Many people have. And, I don’t even begin to understand the depth of the pain you’re going through. Your journey sounds incredibly difficult. Do what you can to remind yourself of the good in life … do what you can to add good to others lives, too (even if it is just offering a smile or a kind word … when you plant seeds of blessings in others’ lives, you’re actually giving yourself a very big gift). The voice inside you that’s wondering whether you should give up is well-meaning, but it is not helpful. Your prayers will be answered, and maybe not in a “Yes, no, or wait” fashion that you’re expecting … maybe it’s “I’ll give you this instead because it’s better than what you prayed for.” Be open to seeing that there may be a way out of what you’re facing that you haven’t even considered just yet. Be ready to see possibilities where before you only saw doors. Staying strong in these tough times will make you stronger your whole life long. I’m praying for you that you see the blessings you so desperately need very, very soon. With much love, J. Marie

  19. I’ve been lost lately and have been on a path I do not desire. I’ve lost many people that have been there for me and have made people sacrifice more than what was nessasary to keep me secure. After a few powerful events and discovering gods strength and love I’m finally getting the answers I so thought I needed but knew I couldnt handle at the moment but reading your posts and understanding how I’ve been going about things was inappropriate. The potential within us will never be found without true love for yourself and the love to and from other’s.when I thought I couldn’t handle getting my act together God has gave me strength and understanding just that quick. I feel at ease and have more love than I’ve ever noticed I had.thank you again and God bless

    1. Rodney — what a lovely message you’ve left here. I’m so very happy that you’re finding ease and love in your life. When we open the door to receive God’s blessings, He never fails to give us the strength and courage we need. Sending prayers that you’ll continue to feel God’s abundant blessings in your life! ~ J. Marie

  20. Like one poster above said, I also Googled my life is a mess and your blog was the first to come up!
    I have a hard time putting my feelings into words. I know my problems are not as bad as what some are going through and I feel guilty that I am feeling sorry for myself. I just can’t understand why things keep happening to me. I try and stay positive, but when things snowball out of control it’s really hard. I ‘ve stopped praying and believing in god. I was/am tired of hearing NO! If it weren’t for bad luck, I would have no luck at all. How do I change that way of thinking? Every time I THINK things are going well, something negative happens.
    I’m frustrated, sad and unhappy too much lately. I don’t know what to do anymore!

    1. Robin — for what it’s worth, nearly every person has been where you are at one time or another in their lives. Yet, I bet realizing that doesn’t help much, does it? Your post reminded me of a saying I heard a while back, I can’t recall the source, but it went something like this: The problem isn’t that you’re experiencing problems. The problem may be that you think it’s a problem to experience problems (and in your case, lots of problems).

      We all have problems to deal with and you’re never going to be done with dealing with them. Life comes with challenges and obstacles and difficulties. Still, when they come again and again and again, it sometimes seems unfair. Yup, life can be unfair. That’s the part that stinks.

      Here’s the part that doesn’t stink: Your life doesn’t have to feel like a total mess. If you can change the way you look at it, it will change (that’s a paraphrase of a Wayne Dyer quote, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”)

      What if you reframed how you looked at this? What are the lessons in what you’re going through? How could what you’re going through be making you stronger … leading you to greater things … helping you make much needed changes in your life that you wouldn’t have made otherwise? How would your life improve if you decided to have more faith that a turning point is just around the corner, and that you have within you the power to make that turnaround happen?

      It’s freakin’ hard to walk up a mountain, yet when you do, the sense of accomplishment you feel is worth it, plus the view there is amazing. Some of the worst times of my life have directed me to some of the greatest blessings of my life. I couldn’t see the blessings while I was in the thick of my “mess,” but yet in time, they did arrive. I kept my faith and I kept planting small positive seeds every day. It made all the difference for me.

      Congratulations on already identifying the BIG solution to what you’re going through in your question: “How do I change the way of thinking?” Yes — your life will get much, much happier once you change the way you think about it. You do this one thought at a time and you grant yourself as much patience and love and understanding as you possibly can along the way.

      When a baby learns to walk, she falls down a LOT before she masters the skill of walking. We don’t criticize her after a few failed attempts by saying “you’re never going to get this … give up … it’s too hard and you might as well accept that you’re never going to walk.” Yet, that is how many of us talk to ourselves when trying to make a life change. Instead, talk to yourself as you would that beautiful small child: be kind. Be supportive. Believe that what you want is possible, and release the habit of feeling lousy when you stumble … because we all stumble … we all come across obstacles that trip us up. That’s a fact of life, that’s not the point of life.

      I sense that you’re not experiencing any fun or joy in your life. Ask yourself: What could I do to get my sense of peace and joy and wonder back? Take ownership that it’s your responsibility to do this for yourself. You have more control over your life that what you’ve been telling yourself.

      Here are a few ideas that I’ve adopted to help me stay “up” when my instinct is to stay down: I walk in nature more … movement and nature heals. I put on some music that makes me happy. Sometimes I even dance around when I feel like wallowing in negativity (it’s nearly impossible to stay down when you’re dancing your happy dance … even if you have to “fake” your happy at first!). I do yoga or go to the gym. I practice radical gratitude … I make “what I’m grateful” lists in my head on a daily basis.

      I’ve also sought counselors … both health and spiritual counselors in my life. Robin, maybe you need to talk through your feelings with someone who has been trained to handle it … a therapist or spiritual advisor (You mentioned you’ve stopped believing in God … which means you once did. Perhaps there’s a void there that you still need to work through).

      I’m not sure if these words were of any help to you, but know that they come with my sincerest compassion for what you’re going through. Be willing to believe that your life can and will get better … even if you don’t see a way yet. Sending you love and prayers that the hope and peace you need will enter your life soon. ~ J. Marie

  21. I feel like my choices have left me in a position where my only options in life are of being stuck in jobs I hate, I come from a privaledged family and have no reason to be depressed other than that I have let myself down. I now have no direction in life, no drive, no passion. I see the world in black and white and just want to give up but I can’t because I couldn’t ever do that to my family. I know I am feeling sorry for myself but I feel Im too deep to get my life back. I feel like I’ve lost all control. I don’t even know where to begin to rebuild my life. I feel like I have a weak character and I am so ashamed. How do I turn my life around if I have no idea what kind of life I want other than just to be happy again.

    1. Oliva – first, take a deep, long breath. What seems like a mess now will get better. Life is cyclical and it sounds like you’re in a rough part of the cycle right now. Don’t give up. If giving up ever crosses your mind — call 1-800-273-8255 (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) immediately. Please, please, please … do this. Your life is precious! You are precious and your family and this world needs you. And, you CAN enjoy joy again. The promise of a happy life is real!

      It’s time to get new lenses to see your world through, cause the ones you’ve been using are not your friend … they’re distorting how beautiful life really can be. That’s not to say you aren’t experiencing real problems … I hear the intensity in your message. If it helps to know, I’ve been there. Millions of people find themselves there … but you can get out of this. There’s no need for shame. There’s nothing “wrong” with you. This happens to people. Right now, you need to give yourself a break. Breathe, breathe, breathe. Not everything has to be solved right now … and not everything is as dim as it appears right now. It’s darkest before the dawn.

      We are never so lost that we can’t find our way back into the light again. Thoughts that tell you otherwise are just misguided lies.

      When life gets this messy, we need to get some help. You can do so in many forms: books, online forums, support groups, counseling, spiritual coaching, life coaching. This is not a time to go it alone … it’s time to get a fresh perspective.

      What have you pursued to help you deal with what’s going on in your thus far? If you have the means, I would highly recommend getting someone you can talk through your life issues with. If the depression is severe, counseling from a licensed counselor makes a lot of sense. If you feel it is a spiritual issue, then pursue the avenues there that are most comfortable for you and that are aligned with your core beliefs. If you feel that life planning might be helpful, a life coach could help you sort through what you really want and how to overcome the obstacles in your way (I personally recommend Anna Goldstein of http://www.AnnaGoldstein.com … she’s excellent!).

      If means are limited and/or you want to get started right away, here are some other ideas:

      The book/video that helped me the very most when I was going through a very similar time in my life was Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life (get both the book + DVD … I watched the DVD 50+ times and still go back to it). Louise Hay’s wisdom is extremely comforting and helpful. I also found Wayne Dyer’s There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem book very therapeutic for me.

      I also recommend ANYTHING by Pema Chodron … watch her videos on YouTube for a start.

      You need better stuff going into your head than the thoughts you’re stuck in right now … these resources can help.

      Chances are, you’re spending a lot of time over-thinking what’s going on in your life and your mind and body need a break. Don’t forget to move your body, even if it is just short walks (preferably in nature). Also, beginning a stillness/meditation practice would be excellent for you … 10-20 minutes a day helps. Think of life as a jar of muddy water that’s been shaken … you need to let the “mud” settle so you can get clarity.

      Release any thought that says there’s something wrong with your character. Give up shame (read and/or watch some of Brene Brown’s work on the subjects of vulnerability and shame … again … go to Youtube).

      Finally, practice gratitude throughout your day. Remember to be thankful for life’s many blessings keeps your focus off of what’s wrong and puts it on what’s right. It’s a life-changer!

      Chances are, what’s really going on with you can be resolved by addressing a handful of key areas in your life that matter most. “Change the channel” of your thoughts to more uplifting channels (like following the people I’ve mentioned above on social media, reading their blogs, books, watching videos, etc.)

      When we feel like our lives are a mess, we often seek to make massive overhauls overnight, but every change or awakening process begins one small step at a time. Commit to making small steps … I’ve given you a half dozen or so in this email. There is no happiness switch that you’ll find on the outside anywhere. It’s within you.

      Also, don’t think you have to have the complete picture of what you want in place (though a coach or counsel can help you with that!) to start making positive steps in a happier direction. It’s not even one day at a time … It’s one moment at a time. One step at a time.

      Sending you my prayers for clarity, guidance, peace, love and deep happiness, ~ J. Marie

  22. my gosh.. I am thinking yea directed at me (but not only I am sure) suer needed this. my life is a mess right now. long story . I am sure going to try this and yes I do have you on my face book and email. I love it here but this is like wow. thanks too for the detailed on meditation too.. thank u again.

    1. Jane — so glad you found the message you needed when you needed it. Sending prayers of peace and happiness your way. ~ J. Marie

  23. Like many others commenting I came across your site feeling completely exhausted and overwhelmed by a sense that “my life is a total mess” with no sense of real hope or the energy, knowledge or ability to find a way through. I don’t know how things ended up so bad but I found some real comfort in your words and previous replies. I feel like I’ve a really long way to go but the idea of moment by moment, seeking help and I’m going to start by reading your recommended text Louise Hay and bookmarking and returning to this site. Thank you for your inspiring and comforting words – I found them at a time when I feel at rock bottom and I needed them the most. Sincere thanks.

    1. Amanda — I’m praying for you! Keep taking heart … it gets better. Live life one moment at a time! Bless you. ~ J. Marie

  24. HELP, I found your site through a friend on fb which was a huge blessing in disguise. My friend is always posting the most awsome posts. It’s like she’s directing them right to me. Which i’m sure she isn’t because she has now clue what i’m going through. And honestly I don’t know where to start.. I am dealing with so much stress and drama in my life that it’s overwhelming. To the point of have severe panic attacks which send me to the E. R.. I am seeing a psychiatrist and a wonderful therapist, but I have so many things going on, I don’t know where to begin to tell my therapist where I want/need to start. There are times that I truly don’t know why i am still exhisting, but I know God has a plan for me. I just wish I knew what it is. My therapist is awsome. She will call me out of the blue, and i’ll just be falling apart when she calls. She will literally talk me through the breathing and concentrating on a positive thought, have me clear my head, which is almost impossible because I just can’t turn my brain off. It never slows down, and it’s always bad or sad things going a million miles a minute. I do pretty well when i have someone physically telling me how to breath and concentrate on a “Thing”, and to clear my mind. Even clearing my mind when being told to on the spot by my therapist is soooo difficult. It wouldn’t be so bad if the thoughts were happy and cheerful instead of very sad or frightening. I also have O.C.D. which is a whole other book. I get exhausted just thinking about all of this stuff. But I haven’t given up yet. I know I am stronger than this, but I really do wish I could start seeing some positive results. But, I am going to start taking my laptop to bed with me and reading your site over and over again until my brain shuts down enough that I can fall asleep. I know God has sent you to me. And I am so grateful. Thank you for strangly showing up in my life. You have no idea how much better it makes me feel just knowing I can pick up my l top and start reading, breathing, etc. Thank you sooo much.

  25. I’ve always been the one who can fix things but lately nothing I do is working, bad decisions have hurt me and my family and I’m in such a rut right now. I’ve always been the positive one and no matter what’s going on in my life I would just keep pushing forward, but right now out just feels like I’m spinning wheels and it’s really brought me down to a low I’ve never been to. I read what you wrote several times, they really are good words and great advice thank you for taking the time to do this.

    1. Tom — I’m glad you found comfort in the words here. I really understand what it’s like to feel trapped in a rut … to feel like life just isn’t working out with nothing on the horizon to assure you that it’s going to get better. Those voices, though, are liars … it does get better. It really, really does. Continue to take it one day at a time, planting whatever positive seeds you can handle for that day. Focus on blessings. Focus on what you can do that feels constructive (even if it’s just something super-small). Keep loving you family. The tide will turn. Hang in there.

      You and your family will be in my prayers … ~ J. Marie

  26. Thank you for this wonderful article. As I read it just now, my whole body relaxed in a way I haven’t experienced in quite some time. Many thanks.

  27. Truly a great piece you’ve written.. Quite relatable.. I was so caught up with wondering about the world and its existence and our purpose, my true calling, that I hardly took the time to ‘breathe’.. Though reading this gave me some moral support.. I’m sure I’ll slide into the same rut.. And I haven’t even started making a living.. So much guilt and inertia acting against me.. And keeping it within me not being able to share it out of fear.. Endless story.. But anyway.. Sometimes motivating articles such as this can be just thing one is looking for.. Thanks.. Cheers !

  28. Thank you very much for this post. I have been going through a lot recently to the point where I thought I was losing myself. But this post really helped me. Usually when I find articles about reaching peace within yourself they don’t really help that much. But this one really impacted me. Thank you again.

  29. Positive thinking and breathing and such are all well and good and may even help some people but I need to pay the rent, have been looking for work for a year and a half and have found nothing, my tooth hurts and I have no dental insurance and no money, my car is breaking down after 300000 miles and I have no money. Sitting on a bench breathing isn’t going to help any of that. I’ve tried and gotten nowhere. I need REAL help NOW.

    1. Sending prayers for you. Maybe those won’t help either, but it’s what I can do. (By the way — been there — no dental insurance with and had to have a tooth pulled because I couldn’t afford to save it; I lost a job 5 years ago; I have a car that’s got 200,000 miles on it.) I know this from my years of being broke and feeling desperate: wallowing in desperation never helps. Your mindset and positive action is the only thing that you can control here, so find what works for you to lift you up. Doing small things for others can work miracles. Taking walks outside can do the same. Cleaning out closets, donating things you’re not using to charity, etc. are all small acts that can help bring about bigger changes in your life. This article might not have been it, but keep looking for what speaks to you.

  30. Your website is incredible! It speaks to my heart. Right now my life is a mess. I have been out of work way too long! I have been steadily going downhill while helping others. I am now in a place where I am able to say ‘no’, and know that everything is going to be okay. I worry because I lack. I had to borrow some money for gas so I can get to my new job next week! I know Day 1 at the new job will be my first step up! Thank you for teaching me to breathe!

    1. Thanks for taking the time to write a note. Wishing you the VERY best in your new job, Laurel. I know what it’s like to be unemployed for FAR too long. It gets better. Keep BREATHING through it all! – J. Marie

  31. Thank you for your uplifting message.I too wrote ” my life is a mess” and found your uplifting words.It seems like everyday I look and search for something to help me figure out what to do with my life as praying and trying to stay positive hasn’t worked!!!
    I ask daily ” What should I do with my life and the mess it is in after a twenty year relationship with a person only to realize it is and has been a waste of time!! I nos find myself at he age of 60 ( very sad but true) in a foreign country with no money and no job, still living with the person as I have nowhere to go and feel stuck in this situation. We don’t talk at all and I feel very uncomfortable,vaguada I feel he is just putting up with me.Not a good way to feel about oneself to even begin to think straight about what to do. I know just talking about it over and over doesn’t accomplish anything but I have no idea what to do and it just keeps dragging on and on.Its a bit hard to keep writing here on my phone so I’ll en here. You’re probably saying thank God!!!! Hahaha.

    1. Praying that the light of clarity shines for you soon, allowing you to know specifically what you can do to move from where you are to where you want to be. Remember to take small steps that make you feel a little better about your life each day. Self-care and self-love, when practiced even in even the smallest of ways, can yield miracles in our lives. Sending much love your way, – J. Marie

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