25 Best Books on Setting Boundaries (with spouse, kids, in-laws, boss, and more)

Spread the love

Setting healthy boundaries with others is crucial to your self-care, personal growth, and happiness. This list of the best books on setting boundaries covers every aspect of establishing boundaries, including how to follow through and stay firm when others encroach upon them.

Whether it’s with your spouse, children, partner, friends, neighbors, church community, colleagues, or bosses, boundaries help establish clear expectations, promote respect, and foster healthy relationships.

When you set boundaries, you communicate your needs and priorities. Boundaries help; you take control of your life and lead to more satisfying relationships.

Setting boundaries has several benefits, including increased self-love and self-esteem, reduced stress, and improved communication.

I’ve combed the internet to find the best experts on setting wise boundaries and found the best books on boundary-setting. 

These popular books (many are bestsellers) offer invaluable insights and practical strategies for establishing healthy boundaries with those around you. I’m sure you’ll find a book on this list that will give you the boundary-setting how-to’s you need to create stronger relationships and preserve your happiness in the process.

The benefits of healthy boundaries image above is from The LightHouse Recovery Institute. Learn more by clicking on image.

The best list of books on setting boundaries

I’ve combed the internet to find the best experts on setting smart boundaries and found the best books on boundary-setting.  These popular books (many are bestsellers) offer invaluable insights and practical strategies for establishing healthy boundaries with those around you.

I’m sure you’ll find a book on this list that will teach you the boundary-setting how-to’s you need to create stronger relationships and preserve your happiness and peace of mind in the process.

The 25 best books on setting boundaries for healthier relationships and less stress in your life

Nedra Glover Tawwab, a licensed counselor and highly regarded relationship expert, sheds light on the subject of assertively setting boundaries without offending others.

Tawwab presents easy-to-understand yet practical methods for establishing healthy boundaries in all aspects of life. These techniques are based on recent research and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) practices. You will learn how to confidently identify and express your needs, helping you resolve underlying issues such as codependency, power struggles, anxiety, depression, and burnout. With a relatable and inclusive 

Master coach Nancy Levin guides readers through the process of setting boundaries and delivers practical tools, such as the Boundary Pyramid, a game-changer for anyone who struggles with conflict.

Levin says that setting limits is essential for long-term happiness. When you read this book, you will learn to recognize which boundaries you need to set, how to say “no effectively,” and how to live confidently with clear limits.

Get ready to become a “boundary badass” and achieve happiness by setting boundaries.

In her debut book, wellness advocate and coach Yasmine Cheyenne introduces her powerful teaching tool, the Sugar Jar metaphor. Combining stories, exercises, and prompts, The Sugar Jar helps readers identify what drains, replenish their energy, and recognize destructive patterns.

Cheyenne empowers readers to set boundaries and prioritize self-care, freeing them from excess stress and exhaustion.   With The Sugar Jar, Cheyenne offers a much-needed perspective and encourages readers to unleash their authentic selves, choose joy, and find lasting balance.

In his work as a bestselling author and social skills coach, Patrick King draws on a wealth of knowledge, combining scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real-life insights.

This book helps readers reprogram their beliefs and set assertive boundaries that others cannot ignore. King delves into the psychology behind allowing others to take advantage and provides actionable ways to overcome the fear of being oneself. He also explores the actual psychology behind conflict and provides a range of strategies for saying “no” effectively.

By embracing self-love and becoming more assertive, readers can ditch their doormat tendencies and chart a journey toward greater self-confidence and fulfillment.

In this book, bestselling author Damon Zahariades provides a strategic guide for setting assertive boundaries and maintaining them in all aspects of life. You’ll learn to confidently say “no” from home to work and get others to respect your limits.

This book covers the top 11 reasons we say “yes” and offers ten simple strategies for declining requests with grace. Zahariades debunks the myth that saying “no” makes you a wrong person and provides a step-by-step approach to developing the habit of setting boundaries.

Bonus sections on saying “no” to specific relationships, such as with a  spouse, friend, or boss, make this book a comprehensive guide for taking control of your life. Get your copy today and start embracing the power of “no.”

Are you tired of constantly pleasing others and feeling taken for granted? Do you struggle to say “no” without feeling guilty or misunderstood? It’s time to take control and learn how to set healthy boundaries.

Healthy Boundaries Author Chase Hill teaches you to set limits without guilt and prioritize self-love. This book provides a step-by-step guide, revealing the five dangerous mistakes to avoid, the secret to saying “no” without guilt, and how to stop apologizing.

Discover the truth behind the ten myths holding you back and learn how to handle different relationship types.

This book offers a path to freedom, allowing you to prioritize yourself and live a more fulfilling life. Setting boundaries is about honoring your own needs.  

In his book, Dealing with the CrazyMakers in Your Life, author and relationship expert David Hawkins provides a solution for those struggling with individuals who fail to take responsibility and cause chaos in their relationships.

Hawkins teaches readers how to establish healthy boundaries and develop life skills. He explains when and how to confront those “crazymakers” who cause difficulties and delves into disordered individuals’ thought processes and behaviors.

By learning how to change your response to the crazymakers and developing stronger communication skills, you can find peace in the midst of chaos and break free from the cycle of disorder. Packed with practical advice and real-life examples, this book offers hope for a brighter future.

8. The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits that Will Set You Free, by Melissa Urban

Melissa Urban taught millions how to establish healthy eating habits with her Whole#0 program.  She knows what it takes to set the limits required to feel confident, secure, and happy.  Now she’s applying those same skills to setting boundaries in relationships.

In this New York Times bestseller, author Melissa Urban (founder of the Whole30) teaches you how to prioritize your needs and build infinitely stronger relationships.  She’ll give you over 130 scripts that you can use to set boundaries with family, friends, co-parents, in-laws, partners, co-workers and more.  She’ll also give you actionable tools for communicting your boundaries clearly and enforcing those boundaries successfully.


In The Art of Everyday Assertiveness, bestselling author Patrick King provides a guide to assertiveness for those who struggle with speaking their minds. With a deep dive into the psychological factors that impact assertiveness, this book offers real-life examples and a 28-day action plan for overcoming people-pleasing habits.

King teaches you how to balance assertiveness, accommodation, and agreeableness, practice self-acceptance and empathy, and decisively say “no” to reclaim your time and energy.

Take control of your life and make the changes you want by embracing assertiveness. Say “yes” to happiness and “no” to the things that bring you down.


Join Lysa TerKeurst, bestselling author, as she guides you in setting healthy relationships through biblical boundaries.

Learn how to love without losing yourself and say goodbye without guilt. With practical strategies, Lysa helps you determine appropriate emotional access, overcome ineffective boundary-setting, and stop the cycle of dysfunction in unhealthy relationships.

Discover the five factors to remember when setting boundaries and how to shift from difficult to healthier relationships.

Do you believe that the wounds from your past will eventually fade away with time? Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case.

We often hold onto our hurt, reliving our pain and asking what could have been done differently. This prevents us from creating new experiences and living fulfilling lives. It’s time to heal and set boundaries with the past.

Allison Bottke provides guidance on overcoming triggers, resolving communication issues, and finding peace through the six steps of S.A.N.I.T.Y.

Don’t let your past control your emotions. Take control of your healing journey and find the freedom your heart deserves.


Tired of sacrificing your own needs to please others and feeling guilty about putting yourself first? Psychotherapist Terri Cole shares skills to help you break free from over-functioning, over-delivering, and people-pleasing.

In this book, you’ll learn how to effectively communicate your desires, recognize boundary violations, manage toxic personalities, and find balance in relationships.

You’ll be empowered to control every aspect of your life with actionable strategies and techniques. Become a Boundary Boss and live the life you deserve.


Setting boundaries in your family: with kids, spouses, in-laws, parents, siblings and more

A must-read for parents of strong-willed teenagers, this guide provides effective strategies for enforcing discipline, fostering healthy growth, and building rewarding relationships with teens.

Navigate the challenges of modern parenting with tips on how to avoid punishment and permissiveness while creating clear boundaries and promoting good judgment.

Enhance communication, and mutual respect, and end power struggles with this essential resource for anyone looking to build a positive relationship with their teen.


Discover the secrets to a stronger, healthier marriage by setting and maintaining personal boundaries.

In Boundaries in Marriage, renowned counselors and authors Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend teach you how to define and protect your individuality within the context of your relationship.

With tools and guidance, you’ll learn how to establish values, respect your spouse’s boundaries, and protect your marriage from external factors.

Whether your marriage is thriving or struggling, this book will show you how to deepen your love and create a supportive environment for growth.  

In this powerful and compassionate book, Allison shares her journey of overcoming the lies that kept her and her son in bondage. She provides a six-step program, S.A.N.I.T.Y., to help families regain control and find hope and healing in their relationships with adult children.

This book offers a tough-love approach, empowering parents and grandparents to stop enabling, take control, and trust their instincts. With real-life stories and a focus on yielding to God, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will bring hope to families struggling with the pain caused by their adult children.

Tired of dealing with constant power struggles and disruptive behavior from your strong-willed child?   The revised and expanded second edition of Setting Limits With Your Strong-Willed Child is the solution you need.

Get ready to say goodbye to traditional methods that leave you feeling drained and ineffective. Author Robert MacKenzie provides up-to-date, time-tested methods to motivate your child and instill proper conduct. With updated guidelines on parenting tools like “logical consequences” and real-world examples, you’ll be equipped with the knowledge to create positive and respectful relationships with your child.

Don’t let the challenges of parenting a strong-willed child bring you down. Get this book now!

In Boundaries with Kids, bestselling authors Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend provide valuable insights and guidance for parents on raising children with strong character and self-responsibility.

Based on biblical principles and decades of experience working with families, they explore the importance of setting healthy boundaries and offer practical tools for bringing balance to family life. Through the ten laws of boundaries and a six-step program, they demonstrate how to instill character, set limits, and still be a loving parent.

This book is a must-read for anyone seeking to improve their parenting skills and create a harmonious family life. Don’t miss the Boundaries family collection for additional resources in key areas of life.

As our parents age, it becomes increasingly challenging to balance their needs with our own. Caring for aging parents can bring a unique set of difficulties, including physical and emotional strain, financial stress, and navigating complicated family dynamics. Allison Bottke,  offers a compassionate guide to help families navigate these challenges and set healthy boundaries with aging parents.

Drawing on her own experience and real-life stories, Allison identifies the lies that can hold families in bondage and provides a roadmap to help families regain control in their lives. Through professional advice, true stories, and scriptural truth, families can apply the “6 Steps to SANITY” to manage their care-giving responsibilities and avoid burnout. 

With a focus on stopping negative behavior, assembling a support group, nipping excuses in the bud, implementing rules and boundaries, trusting instincts, and yielding everything to God, Allison provides a powerful and effective approach to caring for aging parents.


Break free from toxic family ties and reclaim your happiness with the help of this empathetic guide.

Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members, written by psychologist and toxic-family survivor Sherrie Campbell, provides a roadmap for setting firm boundaries and overcoming self-doubt after ending contact with toxic relatives. This book offers practical strategies for healing from guilt and shame and provides the validation and confidence needed to make the decision with pride.

Discover how to let go of negative thoughts and feelings, rediscover self-care, and build healthy relationships on a foundation of self-love and self-reliance. A must-read for those ready to break free from toxic family ties.

Workbooks on setting boundaries

Don’t merely read books about setting boundaries. Grab a workbook that will walk you through the steps and exercises you need to establish specific boundaries with the people in your life.


The Codependency Recovery Workbook is a comprehensive guide to help you break free from codependency and set strong boundaries in relationships.

This interactive workbook will take you step-by-step through the journey of recovering from codependency. You will learn about the five primary causes of codependency, the Giver and Taker roles in relationships, common misconceptions of codependency, and ten signs to identify unhealthy patterns.

The workbook also includes practical exercises and a seven-step plan to help you recover from codependency, overcome obsessive love disorder, and develop healthy relationships.

Don’t let codependency control your life; commit to breaking this cycle with The Codependency Recovery Workbook.

If you struggle with saying “no” and always prioritize others’ needs over your own needs, this therapist-recommended workbook might be right for you.

The Better Boundaries Workbook will guide you in setting healthy boundaries in all areas of life without feeling guilty or afraid. Discover the importance of defining personal boundaries for creating equal relationships and protecting yourself from toxic people.

The workbook provides tips for maintaining boundaries in our connected world, managing conflicts that arise from assertiveness and prioritizing your well-being. When you work through the exercises and use the tools in this workbook, you’ll learn how to take control of your life, assert yourself confidently, and achieve your full potential 

Discover how to live a happy and balanced life by designing healthy boundaries with the help of Dr. Shainna Ali’s Designing Health Boundaries Workbook.

Explore personal values and relationships with interactive activities and reflection prompts, creating meaningful connections through the power of boundaries.

This workbook is the companion to the New York Times bestselling book, Boundaries. 

The Boundaries Workbook offers practical guidance to set healthy boundaries in various relationships, including parents, spouse, children, friends, bosses, coworkers, social media, etc. The workbook is packed with interactive exercises and reflection prompts that bring the concepts to life. The workbook also provides biblical support and tools to maintain good boundaries, achieve a better work-life balance, and make healthier choices.

Setting boundaries is an act of self-care and self-respect. That’s why I decided to include Megan Logan’s Self-Love Workbook for Women on this list of best books fo setting boundaries. When you define what you want and develop a strong self-love practice, setting healthy boundaries will become second nature to you.

Many people have trouble setting and enforcing boundaries because they suffer from a lack self-confidence and self-esteem.  This bestselling workbook from Dr. Barbara Markway is chock-full of interactive exercises and reflections that will help you learn essential skills that will change your life. 

If you struggle with setting boundaries, you likely need the confidence-building tools you find in the Self-Confidence Workbook.



If you enjoyed this post, or know others who are having trouble setting boundaries, please share this blog on your favorite social channels so others can benefit from it, too.

best books setting boundaries pinterest pin
best book setting boundaries instagram and facebook image

Leave a Comment