I’ve learned so much since launching Believe and Create … about our hopes, fears, dreams, insecurities, beliefs, and more. We have more in common than what you might think.
One of the things I’ve noticed is that some themes keep popping up. In fact, one that stands out is the all-to-common habit of not taking full responsibility for our lives. For most of us, it’s not a deliberate choice, but one we’ve come to adopt without giving it much thought. And many of us don’t even realize that we’ve surrendered responsibility, rationalizing that we had no choice in the matter.
Now, most people will step up and take responsibility for their own actions. What many of us tend to dodge is taking responsibility for our response to others’ actions. Comments that I regularly see include …
- He’s preventing me from living my life the way I want.
- I can’t get anywhere when she is doing this to me.
- I’d be fine if it weren’t for them treating me this way.
- If I’m nice, they just take advantage of me — so I can’t be nice. But that’s not my fault, it’s theirs.
Here’s the thing: when you blame others, you’re relinquishing your power to change the situation.
I’m reminded of an anecdote that Wayne Dyer used to share in his lectures that illustrates this point. Dyer recounts the story of a patient who came to him for counseling many years ago. The patient blamed his mother for his problems. Dyer tells the man, “Okay, next time you stay home but send your mother to me, I’ll fix her … then you’ll be okay.” Obviously treating the mother instead of the patient is an absurd solution.
The point Dyer is making is that you must take responsibility for your life no matter what others do to you or try to do to you. As Dyer says, “All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you.”
The truth is that others sometimes make our lives harder. We think if it weren’t for them, everything would be smooth sailing. Yet to say “because he or she or they did something to me, I can’t do this or that” is nothing short of surrendering your right to live your life the way you want to live it.
No one else can ever stop you from becoming who you’re meant to be – only you can do that.
Jim Rohn had it right when he said: “You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.”
You can change how you respond to others; You can decide that nothing anyone else says or does is going to keep you from living the life you were meant to live. It’s a decision that’ll serve you well your whole life long.
Peace and many blessings to you, J. Marie Novak ~ Founder, Believe And Create
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Have you ever struggled with someone who made it difficult to live your life the way you wanted to live it? Share your story in the SPEAK YOUR MIND comment box below.
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