There are certain days in your life where nothing seems to be going your way but you’ve never really figured out what to do when you’re having a bad day. Now is a great time to rethink your entire thought process about what a bad day really is.
No one really has a bad life. Not even a bad day. Just bad moments.” ~ Regina Brett
One of the worst feelings in this world is when you know you are about to have a bad day. You haven’t even gotten out of bed yet, and you can already feel the universe working against you.
Sometimes it’s because of a bad experience from the previous day, an unpleasant dream, or maybe for no reason at all. All you know is that you are in for a ride today.
However, the trick to changing your fate and making sure negativity doesn’t follow in your shadow for the rest of the day is actually quite simple. If you build a shield of positivity around you, not much will penetrate it.
Here’s What to Do When You’re Having a Bad Day …
Here are some of the steps you can take in order to turn a bad day right side up:
- Know that your mind is the biggest culprit.
Be aware that your mind is what controls how your day is going. It’s not about what is happening to you, but about how you react to it. Often when we are having a bad day, our thoughts take us to worse places than what is our current reality.
We allow one unpleasantry dictate our thoughts about everything else around us. All of a sudden, the stress from the traffic on your way to work brings up thoughts about the emails you are not looking forward to ravaging through.
When your mind gets clouded with such negativity, all you are going to see and feel is that negativity. Those emails that could have been quick and painless will now feel like they are one problem after another.
We must believe that the world is not out there conspiring against us. It is only giving us what we project out into it.
- Be overly positive.
This may seem ridiculous at first, maybe even fake.
Nonetheless, “positivity,” just like its evil sister “negativity,” spreads like wildfire, getting stronger and stronger the longer you wait to fight them. When you make the extra effort to put out positivity around you, eventually, it will be strong enough to hold itself.
So how can you become overly positive?
Reach out to somebody with an act of compassion. Tell a friend you are thankful for them. Treat yourself to something that makes you happy. Think about all of the reasons you can be grateful. Smile and say “Good Morning!” to the people that pass you by. Listen to your favorite song and dance.
The important thing is to be active in your pursuit of happiness on a daily basis. Get the ball rolling, and happiness will catch up with you.
- When things do come crashing down, accept them.
Sometimes no matter how much you try, things will inevitably come crashing down. Things happen that are out of your control.
The reason we freak out when something goes wrong is because we feel a loss of control. Instead of letting that fear and anxiety disturb us, we must learn to take a deep breath and accept the situation.
Accepting the situation means not thinking of the thousand reasons why this makes your life more difficult. Don’t get trapped into thinking about the negative outcomes of your problems. Instead, spend your time and energy figuring out how to either fix your problems or to make them work.
Keep in mind that you will get through this. All of our problems seem like giant mountains at first. It is when we take a deep breath and sharpen our focus that we realize we have the strength and skill to climb them.
- Pick your battles.
Often the things we get most angry about don’t actually matter. It is important that we learn to have a perspective on our issues. Some things are going to be worth a fight, but most we should just let go.
When faced with issues ask yourself, “Does this really matter to me?”
It is never wise to waste your time being upset over something that is a waste of your time. You can be much happier when you don’t let everything that you come across affect your happiness.
Be in control of your own happiness. Pick what is worth your time, energy, and attention and then let the rest pass you by.
- There is always a tomorrow.
Remember that the sun will always rise again. Tomorrow will always be a new day filled with new highs and new lows.
Even if all of your efforts to make today better fail, leave those troubles in the past. Don’t let the problems of your past affect your present, let alone your future.
With each new day, there is a new opportunity to find happiness. Do your best to look for it.
“Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” ~ L.M. Montgomery
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Natalia Lachova is passionate about art, philosophy, and positive psychology. She graduated with a BA in Art History with the intent of using creativity as a therapeutic and motivational tool to help others. She is a contributor for Happyness where she shares her experiences and tools for living a happier life. Connect with Natalia on LinkedIn.
I read a, few of the articles. I did some of the ‘work’ the and I felt better. I wrote good things, positive things,….
Them I fell down again, and again and again and I am tired of of falling down again but I have no choice but to try again. I have spoken to so many people, ring so many help lines and they don’t change a thing. I have made a miserable messs of today.
I have to learn to fight, I have never needed to fight, I don’t want to fight. I am sick of fighting. Sick of conflict sick of feeling miserable….. Tired
Nina — I hear you. You’re tired of the struggle. You’re at a place that many people get to, and some get stuck in. I’ve been there. I wish there were a quick fix answer I could give you that would release you from the recurring pain you find yourself in again and again. There’s no quick fix. There’s no ONE thing you can do. You’ve said you’ve read how to change and you’ve done the work and still find yourself feeling miserable, and I know how frustrating it can be when our personal growth efforts are sincere, and yet our progress appears to be nonexistent. Again, I’ve been there. It stinks.
I don’t have magic answers for you. I’m going to suggest a couple of things that help me when I’m at my most miserable. They WON’T cure anything overnight, but when practiced over time, I find they’ve helped work miracles for me:
1. Pursue a daily meditation practice. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate thing … it doesn’t have to take hours. Just give yourself 20 minutes a day to sit still and focus on your breathing. If anxious thoughts arise, don’t fight them, but don’t attach to them either. Just allow them to come and go like clouds come and go in the sky. I find listening to soft instrumental music helps me because when the thoughts pop up (and they will … guaranteed they will), I turn my focus to the music. If you don’t have access to instrumental music, then just return your focus to your breathing. It is not possible to focus on two things at the same time … you cannot focus on music (or breathing) AND anxious thoughts. The power of meditation comes in doing it over time. When you start giving yourself time in peace and calm, your body starts to relax, and it enters into other aspects of your life. Commit to 30 days of doing this and see if it doesn’t make a difference in your life. It will if you give it a chance.
2. Get yourself a mantra and stick to it. Ideas: “I release anxious thoughts.” “My life is getting easier.” “I am strong and at peace. My life is good.” “I am happy and content.” Come up with a mantra that makes you feel good. It must be positive, but it doesn’t have to be something you believe to be true at the moment, only something that you want to feel is true at the very depths of your soul. Repeat your mantra daily — hundreds of times daily. Maybe thousands of times. Say it in your heart. Say it out loud. Write it over and over. Weave it into the fabric of your being.
Repeat your mantra over and over anytime that urge to fight comes up … or when you’re feeling like you’re falling again. Hang on to it like it’s your lifeline. Let it permeate your being so it can do the transformation work you crave.
There’s a great book called Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It, by Kamal Ravikant. It’s short so that you can read it in a couple of hours. It is the story of how Kamal changed his entire life just by repeating the mantra “I love myself” over and over. I can’t recommend that book more highly for someone in your position. Just reading it will help you feel better immediately. When I’m going through rough patches, I take time out to read this book. I’ve probably read it 50 times, I almost know it by heart. I also downloaded it on Audible, so I have an audio The lessons are simple, but they resonate with me, and maybe they’ll resonate with you, too.
3. Walk in nature, a minimum of 15 minutes every single day. 30 minutes is better. Seriously — I probably should have made this #1 on the list because it is so VERY important.
4. Finally — Spiritual and personal growth gurus sometimes teach that life can be easy. That’s not the life that most of us experience. It takes trial and error to find out what works for us, and some situations are just tougher and rougher than others, and the “fix” that helps in one situation may let you down in the next. The most important thing is to be gentle and caring with yourself along the way. Your note feels ripe with self-admonishment, and that won’t help you. Your heart is calling for you to be gentler with yourself and the world around you because the “fighting” is breaking you down.
I can feel your pain through the words you wrote … and the desperation for change. Your pain is calling out to you for help. The strongest message I hear from it is “love me.” To escape the prison that you feel you’re in, you must give yourself ample doses of kindness, compassion, and love. Instead of fighting, begin building … building the new self-nurturing habits that will keep you lifted up. Learn to let go of what you can let go of, and follow the Beatles’ advice “let it be” for things beyond your control. And, walk away from that which no longer serves any purpose in your life … that will take bravery on your part, but you are stronger than you realize.
Again, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for what you’re going through. There’s no overnight fix, but I hope you find some solace in the suggestions I’ve made here.
Sending you my prayers for love and lightness for you … that you might quickly find a path out of this painful part of your life. – J. Marie